Let go!

We come across so many things in a day that  we forget, what we are doing and what is the purpose of doing such things. I am doing a job to earn money and whenever I come across anything which disturbs me or upsets me I sometimes remind myself that I am not here to waste my energy on such things and I am here to earn money only. If somebody is showing smart to others by letting me down then should i react and feel bad about it? Thats what happened today but I caught myself in that moment and by telling the fact I acted instead of  showing my reaction however there is all possibility that he was in his own head and ignored the fact completely and thinking himself to be successful man sitting there however the fact is that it doesn't matter to me what he is thinking about me, what the reality is that I am much more comfortable in my world arranged by me and I AM THERE TO EARN MONEY ONLY!!!!!!

Thats how so much happens during the day and we involve ourselves in small things as if our life will be stopped. But the fact is nothing matters at the end of the day, and the only thing which matter is my joy and my comfortability. We won't be able to make anybody understand about our things and there is no need also. Our near and dear one are more than enough to understand us and it is not required for the whole world to understand us. And most important is to understand ourselves which can help us in many ways to live life joyfully...

My God, It was a day of too much noise in the head....i mean it was so difficult to sit in the office and my mind was scolding me for sitting there. Sometimes we just keep on doing things which are not meant for us but since we are so much in hold of money,habits etc that we just not ready to take a jump. Some or the other things though might seem very reasonable and logical but they keeps us stick on to such situations. And MIND asking "what next"...
I have to be with myself all day making me understand that this too shall pass..few more months then i would take a jump.. I was in pain and wanted to be just at home doing nothing, and to an extent thinking nothing. But it was not possible or you can say i didn't have gutts to just ignore the factors involved kept me there in office all day, though by end of day felt little relaxed as day was coming to an end.
Life has come to a phase where i do not understand whether life is taking me and i am taking my life..It's so sad that though at some stage i chose to be where i wanted to be but i don't see any point in anything..."THIS TOO SHALL PASS" but would i reach somewhere, where i am contented!!

Just as it is

This is something new for me to start writing. I have always thought that i can write well and it was just a matter of first step towards it and here i am writing....

Well, i have always not liked my mind being so weird and not knowing what to do. Sometimes it seems all the options otherwise are either open or i am too scared to just even look at them even once.

One step forward and two steps back, it has always kept me at the same place all my life in all dimensions whether materialistically or spiritually. Ah! you must be thinking "Is she doing something to keep her self in tune with existence or something" and the answer is I don't know. All is in mind and practically the more I think or do, I  see myself standing in crowd and trying to look at the front to make myself realize if i can be at the stage of at least knowing what i am doing with my life..